The Plumbing of life

About the everyday and “simple” use of constellation work to open up stuck places

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When I was four and a half, I came home from somewhere.
My parents were not there. No one was there.

Someone threw a comment at me that my parents had taken my older brother to the hospital, because:
“his head opened up.”

In my imagination, of a child who had never heard the term,
and it was exactly the beginning of summer (how is that related? will be explained soon…)
an image arose of an open head, gaping wide, split in two
exactly like… yes, yes… a watermelon split open just now, with all the juices dripping…

(my brother is fine, thank God, touch wood)

No one was there with me. I was alone.
I could not ask anyone what was happening, nor share the terrible images that arose in my mind.

What did I do? I suppressed it.
And I continued living. Well. Because the flow of life is strong and carries us forward. Most of the time also in the right direction.

But something of it remained.
Shivers of fear that attack… a sinking feeling of not understanding… horror of being alone in certain ways.

And all of this stayed with me. Hidden. Written in the body (did you read/notice?)

Until, in a “minor” constellation exercise, when I asked myself to find a small but representative incident of an unprocessed fear that remained closed and stored but not worked through—

I placed representations (a technique in family constellation work) for the event
and suddenly everything opened, and fell apart. And reorganized itself anew.

And understandings about horror, about choices to be together and apart, and about the mother I am, suddenly emerged, unfolded, and supported me in a new way.

Breath came in.

And all of this from a “small” and marginal and forgotten event.

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This is how one can learn about trauma — both as “just” people, partners, parents… and also as enrichment for professionals — those who meet people as their work
and also as a space for a delicate and intelligent personal development.