Respectful Parenting

Throughout my own years of parenting, and through years of accompanying parents in the life processes of both themselves and their children, an approach to being and parenting has evolved in me — the approach of “Respectful Parenting.”

This approach sees every member of the family as a human being, with their own needs and inner knowing, worthy of respect and trust, alongside a clear and calm understanding of the different roles within the family. It offers tools both for reflection and for the emergence of meaningful changes unique to each family and each child.

Every child, every parent, every family system plays upon the strings of the world in its own unique way.

What is my / our unique sound?
How can I nurture my instrument so that it produces the clearest, fullest sound?
What do I need beside me in order to play as I wish?
Are there different rhythms to the melody of my life / my family? Are there different times for different melodies?
What are the dissonances from which I wish to grow? What is the musical resolution of that dissonance?
What is the next sound that is right for us to express now? And how?
How can we play our melodies in harmony with the strings and melodies around us? What might the melody of the whole world become?

Respectful Parenting is a model of grounded, clear, and gentle leadership that harnesses the forces and movement of life in their fullest expression.

Respectful Parenting seeks to care for the whole garden — the inner garden of each member of the family, and the shared garden of the family as a whole, across its many circles.

It allows us to tend to the conditions of our private garden — watering, light, nourishment, and the quality of the soil — while also creating pathways for regulation and balance throughout the system, together with attention to every flower and leaf as a whole world unto itself. The garden knows and responds to the landscape and climate in which it exists and remains in life-giving relationship with them.

Respectful Parenting is rooted in core principles and tools from Focusing and Family Constellation work, among others, together with a conceptual and practical framework for approaching the questions and requests emerging for us on the parenting path (with children of all ages). The meetings are designed to create understanding and practical possibility for inner and outer changes that shape and embody the desired and fitting transformation in life and at home.

The meetings:

• Individual sessions (with one or both parents).
  Sometimes a single meeting can offer orientation and clarity, and create connection with the inner resources and deep knowledge already within you.
  At other times, a short series of meetings is called for. This is a form of accompaniment rather than therapy, and we decide everything together.

Sometimes, once a clearer understanding of the path has formed, we choose for me to also meet separately with one child or with all the children (these meetings are creative and play-based, inspired by “Focusing with Children”).

• Topic-oriented workshops
  (on boundaries, natural learning, emotional outbursts, and more), or workshops organized around broader themes (natural parental authority, parental presence, the “Orders of Love” within the family, and more).
  Held either in my studio or at your place.
• Process-oriented groups
  Usually once a year, I open an ongoing process group that allows a group of parents (mothers and fathers, and sometimes couples) to dwell in the rich, fascinating, and growth-filled edges of parenting — and to gradually and deeply explore content, ideas, tools, and skills that support both personal development and processes of healing and change within the home.

Links:

The book: Focusing on Respectful Parenting
more about the book and link to order

Focusing in Respectful Parenting Course
The flagship course of the Respectful Parenting approach.