The book: Focusing on Respectful Parenting
This book documents a process-oriented parenting group,
a book about parenting, a different kind of parenting:
compassionate, reflective, and grounded in a belief in the possibilities of growth and change.
It weaves together ideas and practices from the field of Focusing.
It organizes knowledge and accompanies its application in real life.
This is a book with the power to nurture and support.
It offers a path of parenting that is developmental and expansive, carrying a vision of parenting that is, in some ways, different –
a parenting approach that holds the life project of family and parenthood within a rich and interconnected tapestry.
It is a book worth having on the shelf:
- as a resource for parenting and for parents;
- as a source of ideas for exercises, games, and alternative pathways for interaction;
- for different ways of meeting personal and parenting challenges;
- and as a resource for group facilitators and for facilitation more broadly.
A book that makes the wonder present.
The book Focusing in Respectful Parenting presents an integrative approach to parenting, one that combines a deep, nonjudgmental acceptance of parents as they are with a conscious willingness to meet those personal and parenting-related areas that call for growth, change, and healing.
The approach presented in the book weaves together the principles of Focusing and the philosophy of Respectful Parenting, offering a supportive, empathic, and trust-based framework for processes of growth, repair, and personal and parental development.
The book is organized in a structured, progressive manner. Each chapter addresses a central theme in the world of parenting—such as setting limits, family relationships, natural parental authority, and more—while also incorporating a Focusing component: a principle, concept, or skill that is explored and learned within the context of a group process.
At the end of each chapter, a section called “Connecting Threads” is offered. Its purpose is to translate the theoretical and experiential material into practical application in everyday life, while taking into account the challenges, complexities, and constraints that are part of family reality.
Testimonials
Hi Lilach,
I’ve already written in the Israel Focusing group, and on the one hand I don’t want to overdo it or make things awkward, but on the other hand, it almost doesn’t feel fair to keep my excitement about your book to myself…
As I read, I feel that you are offering a wonderful model of how to listen and pay attention to oneself while, at the same time, extending that same attention to others.
I am deeply moved by your honesty, your clarity, and above all by your generosity in sharing the exercises and everything else. That is far from something to be taken for granted.
I hope our paths will cross again in the future, beyond the pages of the book as well.
Nitzan Almog
When I went to pick up the book And If It Were as It Could Be: Focusing in Respectful Parenting from the collection point in Binyamina, I had no idea that the moment I started reading, I would feel as though I had joined a process-oriented mothers’ group without even leaving my home.
I had no idea how much Lilach, through her warm and embracing writing, would support me with every page I read, or how much it would allow for an even greater expansion of presence in my parenting.
At a time when meeting in person, attending parenting workshops, or participating in personal growth programs can be complicated, this book is a much-needed gift—one that supports you, the parent, on the journey of discovering and shaping your own individual and unique way of parenting.
Lital Dari
Lilach is an extraordinary healer and a rare professional. This book is both a learning resource and a practical guide for bringing the principles of Respectful Parenting into everyday life.
I have no doubt that this is the best gift a parent can receive—or give themselves.
Rinat Yarden
I am progressing through the book slowly and with great pleasure. Everything is explained with both depth and simplicity at the same time. It contains knowledge woven into storytelling—high-level material presented in a very accessible way. With each reading, I am deeply moved by the subtle quality of observation.
Lilach, like the kind of mother one can become, plans and also adapts flexibly to what is alive in the group. There is a real sense of a dance-like correspondence between the theory of Focusing and the attentive parenting that Lilach demonstrates.
Wonderful 🙏🏼 Wonderful 💓
Roni Tena
Run, run and read the book “Respectful Parent, Thriving Child” by Lilach Benyamini-Coorsh.
I finally started reading it, and I can’t stop.
Dear Lilach, how wonderful it is to read!
Your ability to describe and hold processes across multiple dimensions and with a wide sense of presence (I am amazed again and again at how the group process you facilitate and describe in the book mirrors the process of parenting), your words are so present and deep, and at the same time simple and fluid.
I am learning so much from every word you place down, מתוך החוכמה וההקשבה הפנימית שלך (from your inner wisdom and listening).
It is a true pleasure to read a book that is entirely a celebration of B.O.T., something rare in the world of parenting books… 😁
” A true delight to read a book that is entirely a celebration of Focusing, which is so rare in parenting areas.”
“I’m thrilled by the honesty, clarity, and especially the generosity in presenting the exercises – it’s not at all obvious.”
“It contains knowledge interwoven with stories, and the explanations are so accessible. Fantastic!”
“The book is a valuable and practical tool for implementing the respectful parenting approach.”
“Without a doubt the best gift parents can give themselves.”
“Lilach gives a fantastic model for listening and being more self-aware.”
How the Book Was Born
For the past decade, I have accompanied parents through the challenges of life cycles and parenting, drawing on the supportive, trust-based approaches of Focusing and Constellation work, as well as the philosophy of Respectful Parenting. This accompaniment has taken place in individual sessions, workshops, and process-oriented parenting groups.
One of these groups I accompanied through writing. I meticulously documented all the meetings, my preparations for them, my post-session focusing processes, and all correspondence with the participants.
The book Focusing in Respectful Parenting opens a window into this group. It weaves together personal stories, deep parental developmental processes, core principles of the Focusing approach, and exercises and guidance for Focusing-related skills.
Each chapter includes a “Connecting Threads” section that brings all of this together into the “practical level” — the real-life parenting challenges of everyday existence — and offers developmental stepping stones in both perception and action.
Another significant layer of the book is the enrichment and references drawn from the philosophy of Focusing, which serves as the conceptual foundation for all the processes of “magic” described throughout the book.
The book Focusing in Respectful Parenting can be read as a parenting-support resource and a support for parents, as a resource for educators, as a study and reference text for the Focusing approach, and as a human document that believes in and records processes of development.
Who is the book for?
For parents of children of all ages, and also for grandparents
For educators
For therapists and facilitators working with parents, children, and families
For those for whom the Focusing approach is a way of working or a way of life
For people interested in processes of change and healing
For those curious about a slightly different way of observing and being in the world
